Yes, folks, this time the worst of all things happened. My car, the beloved Honda ‘98 champagne (not silver) Honda Accord was torn from my arms today by the likes of Charley’s Towing from one of the 15 minute spots behind Heritage. You might be thinking (if you are well-versed in LaGuardia Blog), “Sam, that’s impossible. You take advantage of the spot-swap (see ‘There are Meter-men Afoot!’) every fifteen minutes.” Alas. I forgot.
Innocent me, reading a book about Community, and love, and cooperation, got sidetracked in my dorm for a period of 30 minutes. Forgetting, or at least not caring, that my car was plopped in the 15 minute spot for thirty minutes, I ventured out of my love-cave onto the empty lots and sullen streets behind Heritage B. I walked 12 paces and turned right, expecting to see my silver bullet automobile smiling back at me, provoking me. But no. I saw no such thing. What I saw was a woman in an Trailblazer puffing down, what the westerners call, ‘baccy, or tobacco, which is what normal people call it. Seeing her enjoying that smooth mild in the spot where my beast/car/companion last lay was a slap in the face to me, and the rest of the BW community. With extended arms to the sky, i asked, “Why?”. Truthfully, I kinda freaked out. Thought it was stolen at first, but then swiftly realized, it was him. The intolerable, insatiable, interminable METERMAN. He must have been the cause. It was he that was constantly writing me tickets, he that I saw with his smug, good-looking, jean button-up shirt standing next to a car yesterday that had been towed.
The bill to get the car out of the pound was 110$. The ticket rang out at 30$. This has gone on long enough.
Meter-man, i realize you are “doing your job” and probably “hate to ruin peoples day”, but let’s be real here. You love your job. You smile when you know you’ve hurt someone, internally. Well, today you win. The good students of BW (especially the freshmen of whom bought parking passes at a less than reasonable price, only to be towed for being 15 minutes over in a fifteen minute lot) will not let this injustice stand. One day you will be thwarted from your denim throne and tossed amongst the serfs. Thy will be done to you.
-SL